The Formula

Blockbuster movies and books all seem to use the same formula.

1. Love interest
2. Action
3. Some pseudo sex
4. More action
5. Then everyone lives happily ever after

All of the above are timed perfectly to a great music score and fantastic visual effects.

The books fly off the shelves and people flock to the theatres. I often get caught up in the flurry and when the storm clears I ponder its blockbuster status?

Do we need to escape the reality of our troubled world? Are we numb to the formula? Do computers, reality television or something else sap our brains, creating mindless zombies?

I am certain; once I find the right music score, the rest of my life will fall into place.

Lola, you naughty girl

"Lola, you know you are not allowed to lick your own genitals in public"

My comment: "If that's the case, is it okay to lick someone else's genitals in public?"

It's a Small World

My social life in Chicago during the late 80's and early 90's was robust. I was, as they say, a man about town with a vast entourage of friends and acquaintances. During our travels, after moving to Atlanta, Tim and I would bump into random folks from my former Chicago days.

During our early return visits to Chicago, I would often hold court in Sidetrack, catching up with members of my entourage. Then it happened in San Francisco. Tim and I wandered into one of those "classy" Castro adult toy stores and were greeted with "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Tony, what the hell are you doing in San Francisco, and in my porn store?" A welcome so robust, all of the patrons turned to see if the latest porn celebrity had just walked through door.

Then again, during our recent trip to Costa Rica. We wandered into Cafe Mundo for dinner. I was the last of our group to enter the dinning room. As the host turned, he looked at me and his jaw dropped and blurted, "Oh my God!, Tony, is that you?". My dinning companions were riveted. "Why, yes", I replied, attempting to quickly place the voice, face and finally summon his name. He couldn't contain his excitement, "It's Ray, we dated for a bit in Chicago." My neurons made the connection; I introduced him to my companions and proceeded to chat away, drawing out the details of his life in last 15 years.

"It's a small world" - those magical lyrics truly resonate for me and I wonder where I will see another member of my entourage?

After the XXX Church

After checking out the XXX Church, I had some inspiration ...

The magical treat
PORN - gay, straight, bi - I don't care
Show the money shot

Porn and Pancakes?

I must say this is one of those things that makes you go hmmm or is it mmmm...mmmm...good. I thought, at first, it was some kind of crazy trend morning porn viewers started; then I thought it was a local porn theatre gimmick to entice early visitors by serving up pancakes.

To my surprise it was nothing of the sort, although still outrageous. Try this on for size ... A group of ex-porn insiders, turned preachers, form a new church called the XXX Church. Next they launch a sexy website then start traveling around the country hosting discussions about porn while eating pancakes slathered in syrup.

So far, no porn and pancake breakfasts are scheduled in the Chicago area.

Highway Boobrobbery

A Las Vegas showgirl gets a mere $50 per week to go topless during the show. Let's just see how much each boob is worth ...

$50.00 boob bonus @ week
12 shows @ week
$4.00 @ show
$2.00 @ boob @ show

That isn't even enough to make the payments on a new set of boobs, the very asset bringing in the extra bucks. Plain and simple, "highway boobrobbery".

Cold Effect

Cold weather today
Shrinks all the male private parts
Machismo crisis

Overheard at the Leather Bar

During a recent visit of our friends Dan and Sean from Atlanta, we took the opportunity to explore a number of bars not on our usual rotation.

Saddled up to the bar, soaking in the atmosphere, I overheard the most interesting conversation. In any other setting, I probably would have tuned out chatter. At Touche, one of Chicago's neighborhood leather bars, the two leather clad gentlemen behind me peaked my interest.

Leather Daddy 1: Honey, what do you do?
Leather Daddy 2: I'm a general manager for Panera Bread.
Leather Daddy 1: [In a high squeaky, excited voice] Oh my God! I love the food at Panera Bread. I eat there at lease three times a week.
Leather Daddy 2: That's great. What do you do?
Leather Daddy 1: I work at the Louis Vuitton store.
Leather Daddy 2: [Pregnant pause]
Leather Daddy 1: [The voice still high and squeaky] The place is crazy. I can't believe the bags are so expensive and they aren't even leather!
Leather Daddy 2: Grunts ... I have to take a piss, I'll be back in a minute
Leather Daddy 1: I'll be here

Leather Daddy 2 did not return. While having a beer, who wants to hear their expensive Louis Vuitton wallet, man purse, and luggage are made from pleather.